Money is a subject that frequently arises in my coaching sessions, whether they’re geared towards business or personal growth. I often tell clients that if they want to understand themselves better, they should start by looking at their relationship with money. Money isn’t just about wealth or status; it’s a mirror reflecting our beliefs, values, fears, and aspirations. Let’s explore how this relationship unfolds and what it can reveal about us.
The Roots of Our Financial Beliefs
Our relationship with money often begins long before we earn our first pound. Many of our beliefs are shaped by early messages we received, often subconsciously, about what money represents. For some, money equates to freedom and opportunity, while for others, it may carry a sense of worry or obligation. If you believe money is scarce, you might prioritise saving and approach every expense with caution. Conversely, if you view money as plentiful, you may feel more at ease spending, investing, and even taking financial risks. These beliefs shape every financial decision we make, consciously or unconsciously.
Money as a Reflection of Ethics and Risk Tolerance
Money doesn’t just reveal our beliefs; it also sheds light on our ethics. How we choose to earn, save, spend, and give shows where our values lie. Some people feel strongly about investing ethically or donating a portion of their income to causes they care about. For them, money becomes an extension of their moral values. Others may take a more practical approach, focusing on the outcomes of their financial choices rather than the ethics of where the money comes from or goes.
Our attitude toward risk is another aspect that money highlights. Some of us see money as a tool to explore new opportunities or instigate change, willingly stepping into the unknown and confident in our ability to manage losses. Those who are more cautious may favour security over potential gains, choosing safer financial options. This isn’t just about risk; it reveals our comfort with uncertainty and trust in our resilience.
How Money Uncovers Insecurities and Limiting Mindsets
Money can bring hidden insecurities to light. For some, their earnings, spending, or display of wealth may serve as a way of proving their worth. Others may find security in saving, believing that restraint protects them from judgement. These insecurities might not always be obvious, but they influence our financial habits and our interactions with others around money.
Sometimes, our thoughts about money can become so ingrained that they limit us. We may find ourselves caught in cycles of scarcity-driven thinking or relentlessly chasing wealth as a measure of self-worth. These thought patterns, often rooted in past experiences or societal pressures, can act as barriers to a balanced and fulfilling life. Breaking free from these limiting beliefs requires a conscious shift—seeing money as a tool to support what truly matters rather than an end in itself. This change frees us to make financial decisions that empower us, allowing money to serve us rather than control us.
Facing Our Deepest Fears Around Money
Our relationship with money often reveals our deepest fears. For some, money brings a fear of never having enough, feeding a scarcity mindset that fuels caution. Others might fear dependence or loss of control, making them reluctant to share or even spend money. Such fears usually stem from past experiences, whether growing up in financially unstable environments or facing personal financial setbacks. These fears linger quietly in the background, subtly shaping our financial choices.
The Mentality Behind Financial Dishonesty: Stealing and Tax Evasion
When it comes to financial behaviour, some individuals engage in dishonesty, whether through outright theft or by avoiding tax obligations. These actions can stem from a range of motivations, often revealing deeper beliefs, attitudes, and rationalisations regarding money, power, and fairness.
At the root, those who steal money or evade taxes may operate from a mindset of entitlement or a distorted view of fairness. For some, the feeling that “the system is unfair” becomes a justification for bending or breaking the rules. They may feel that they’re simply “taking back” what’s rightfully theirs or balancing an imagined inequality. In such cases, there’s a belief that large institutions or governments don’t deserve their contribution, leading them to sidestep taxes as a form of rebellion against perceived authority.
Another factor is risk tolerance coupled with a desire for instant gratification or control. Individuals who feel entitled to rewards they haven’t earned or feel the need to accumulate wealth quickly may rationalise theft or tax evasion as a shortcut. This often reflects a deeper sense of insecurity or a need for control, where money becomes a tool to achieve immediate power, regardless of the consequences.
For others, stealing or evading taxes is rooted in a scarcity mindset and fear. They may believe that there will never be “enough,” and thus take what they can by any means. In such cases, money is seen less as a resource to build stability and more as something to hoard or exploit before it runs out. This mentality often ignores the ethical implications, focusing solely on personal gain and self-preservation.
Lastly, there are those whose behaviour stems from a sense of detachment or dissociation from the consequences of their actions. They may convince themselves that their actions are victimless or that they’re simply “playing the game.” In reality, this often masks a deeper disengagement from the values of fairness, responsibility, and social duty.
Understanding these mentalities is complex, but what’s clear is that these behaviours reveal unresolved beliefs about value, fairness, control, and ethics. When we examine these actions, we see a reflection not only of a person’s relationship with money but also of their broader worldview and understanding of social responsibility.
Exercises: Reflecting on Your Money Mindset
1. Understand Your Money Beliefs
Reflect on the messages you grew up hearing about money. Do you view money as scarce or abundant? Does it represent freedom, security, or stress? Recognising these beliefs helps you reshape any that don’t serve you, moving from scarcity and fear to trust and empowerment.
2. Clarify Your Values and Goals
Define what you want money to do for you. Financial security, independence, supporting family, or investing in growth—having clear goals gives your financial decisions purpose. When choices align with your values, you’re more likely to feel in control.
3. Create a Realistic Budget
Budgeting isn’t about restriction; it’s about planning for what matters. Look at your income and expenses, and categorise spending according to your lifestyle. Set aside “fun money” so you can enjoy life guilt-free, making adjustments as needed.
4. Practise Mindful Spending
Pause before making a purchase and ask yourself if it aligns with your values and goals. Practising mindful spending helps you make choices that genuinely satisfy you, steering clear of impulsive buys that only bring fleeting satisfaction.
5. Build an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund of three to six months’ worth of expenses can relieve financial stress, fostering resilience. This safety net empowers you to make decisions without the constant pressure of financial insecurity.
6. Reduce Fear Through Knowledge
Learning about money management, investing, and planning builds confidence and reduces fear. Books, courses, or financial advisors can provide knowledge, helping you make more informed decisions and see money as a tool rather than a source of anxiety.
7. Set Boundaries and Avoid Comparison
Stay grounded in your own financial journey by setting boundaries around spending, saving, and discussing money. Comparison often breeds dissatisfaction and impulsive decisions. Focus on your own path to avoid external pressures.
8. Embrace Money as a Means of Enjoyment
Money isn’t just for saving; it’s there to enhance your life. Allocate funds for the things that bring you joy, like experiences or hobbies. A balanced approach lets you view money as a positive force, supporting a richer life.
9. Think Long-Term
A healthy relationship with money is built over time. By prioritising stability over quick gains, you give yourself the freedom to make choices that benefit your future self. Building wealth and achieving financial independence is a gradual process.
Money, at its best, is a resource that supports our values, needs, and aspirations. Cultivating a healthy relationship with it requires patience, mindfulness, and a sense of purpose. With a consistent focus on what truly matters, money can become an empowering presence in our lives, guiding us towards a more balanced, fulfilling future.